I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
