My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
