She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
