Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
