Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
