haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
no more duck duck goose at the bar
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Congratulations! We have a period
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
