I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
