its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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