Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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