I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
