a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
