I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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