I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
