yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
