no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
