i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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