do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
