She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I believe in your delicious
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
