i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize