God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
