a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
