You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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