she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Randomize
