How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
someone owes me an orgasm
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize