You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
