PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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