Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
