So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
