hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
