i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
