You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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