i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
