There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A+ Viking dick
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
