maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
