I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
