just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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