Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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