she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
