Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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