i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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