I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
