mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
