and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
