Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
