I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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