Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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