I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
