I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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