The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
