Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
