People in love make me want to vomit
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize