I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
