I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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