Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well I just put wine in my tea
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
