So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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