either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
