So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
