hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
