my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
