their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
